Today I’ve got to tell you that healing is not forgetting because I personally knew some people who resisted healing from their grief as they thought it meant they were forgetting (and hence betraying) their late beloved in some way. If you too are in the same boat, this post is for you.
Before anything, don’t worry, you don’t have to forget them and also you shouldn’t forget them. On top of all, please be assured that forgetting them is impossible. So, let me reiterate, healing does not mean forgetting.
What is healing, then?
Healing is about learning how to live with a void in your life left by the demise of your beloved. To explain more, it starts with you acknowledging your irreplaceable loss, and then you gradually learning how to control your response to that loss.
You are healing as normal, if you regain your composure after some time and move on slowly in life, of course with ups and downs on the journey. Mind you, all this time you continue to experience the same heart-melting love for your late beloved and specially, you might start doing more and something special for them, as a result of your mind getting clear enough to see different avenues of keeping their memory alive.
So, I hope now it’s obvious that forgetting is not a part of the healing process.
Healing is not about forgetting. On the contrary, healing will let you keep your late beloved closer to your heart forever. Healing will empower you to continue to cherish them.
Two Options – Healing or Devastation
Open your eyes to the world around you, read news and search internet, then you will find thousands of bereaved people pursuing various worthy causes in the name of their late loved ones. Why do you think they do so? It is because they have realized that it is the only way to keep up their relationship with the intimates they lost as well as the best way to console their distressed minds.
Those are the people who have chosen the healing path. They did not surrender to the grief. Instead, they chose the best option that does right by both them and their late beloved – to get rid of grief and resume their journey in life, though as a different person with a different purpose. As a matter of fact, when we ask them, which person is better (the person before the bereavement or after) they all answer that it is the new one. Why? Because they know that it was a positive transformation that they were subjected to as a result of undergoing the healing process.
If you do not choose the healing path purposely, you would probably end up in other not-so-good lines. For example, if you resist the recovery from the mental anguish you are in and let your emotions control you, then your good sense will have no power to keep you safe and sane. As a result, one of the following would be your destiny.
- ruin yourself with depression, sickness or deterioration of your career, reputation and wealth
- resort to alternative means for forgetting the pain of losing their beloved, like drugs and alcohol
You can clearly see that neither of those other options would have a positive impact on you or the name of your late beloved. If your late loved one could see you, they would not approve of you choosing these options, would they?
The essence of the post today is that it is very important that you see the worth of healing and eliminate all the misconceptions that bar you from healing, so you will acknowledge healing as the only path that will redress your situation and honour your late beloved.
If you explore more about what other people have done and techniques and support available for you for a speedy healing, your mind will probably change and be inspired to try those yourself.
Remember, your receptiveness immensely helps the recovery from bereavement. If you are receptive to the help and advice that others give you and open-minded enough to listen to and see what others do, then your healing will be less difficult. So please do your best to be open-minded and non-resistant to the healing process.
I am about to wind up for today, though I know this is not a topic that we can limit to one post as there is a lot to talk about how resistant we are to move forward after a life-changing event in our life. It is easier said than done to gain an immense courage to rise again, after being shattered. But there are solutions, techniques, resources, people who will help us to revive.
If the griever is in a vulnerable situation that they could not manage it themselves, it is mainly the duty of the others, to observe their mental status and guide them to the correct support. We all have grievers around us, who are experiencing bleakness in life, so we must be more vigilant about them and lend them a hand, whenever necessary. Remember, every one of us are likely to be in that situation one day.
What do you think about the post today? I am sure you have a lot to say about how difficult it is to get back to everyday life after experiencing a very difficult incident in life. What did you do? How did you help others to come back to normal? I would much appreciate if you could share your words with all of us as we all are in an endless learning path. Please don’t forget to like, subscribe and share too.